It's almost the new year. Time to make those resolutions that one always intends to follow through with, but more often then not, don't. For that reason, I have rarely made New Year Resolutions.

I have often heard people say that resolutions are just a way to set yourself up for failure. Oh, I see....so shall we just give up then? Don't even try?

Have we become so complacent that we are simply satisfied with our short comings? Maybe we are so fearful of failure because it might hurt our self esteem, that we fail to even try.

Have we forgotten how to strive for a goal? How to dig deep, sweat, sacrifice, and actually work to achieve our objective?

This year we must decide: go with the idea of preserving our precious self esteem or set some goals and try.

My goals: 


1.   Read from my bible everyday. I will do my best to understand what I am reading and not only read the words.


2.  In my attempt to get closer to God, I am going to try remember to spend some time in prayer every day. 


3.   Get more organized. I can not believe how fast life can get disorganized. One little slip leads to another and another until before you know it you are overwhelmed with clutter and disorganization. I function so much better within an organized life.

4.   Finish the family room. This one is almost cheating because it is nearly finished. Just some wainscotting, paint, and a few finishing touches and it's finished. Except for the carpet. That will be on my goal list for another year I suppose. 

5.   Learn how to make file cabinets. In order to finish the office, I need file cabinets. I can not seem to find affordable ones that fit my need. Plus I like the idea of making my own to be just what I want. This would be a really nice accomplishment since it would help me to live in that organized life that I mentioned. 


6.   Plant and harvest a successful garden this year.


7.   Learn more about living naturally and implementing what I learn.


8.   I hope that my company "The Cleansing Creek" actually makes money this year. I know what you are thinking. You didn't even know I had a company. That is only one of many problems I must overcome. 


9.   I hope to overcome my fear of people....or maybe not. Maybe just improve my social skills a little to start with.


10.  And finally.....that famous....lose weight. I hope to lose more then I put on. 

We all have heard that sleep is necessary for us to be healthy. The debate still continues as to how much sleep that is. So what happens when you don't get enough?

I first start to notice that I am lacking in the peaceful bliss of sleep when I start hurting myself. It starts off with little things like smashing my finger in the drawer or burning my head with a curling iron. Then instead of simply following with an "ouch", I whine.

As "enough" sleep continues to decrease my ability to be a klutz increases. This is where I do things like...let's just say for instance...while sitting on the arm on the couch my sock gets stuck on the door of the dog crate. I only notice when I begin to stand up that I can't seem to get my foot unstuck. Ultimately falling on the floor and ripping my sock, that's still clinging to the dog crate door.

Then as the day lingers on, I might do something like walk across the floor, step down to a lower level and step on some unlevel flooring, causing me to fall once more.  As I loose control of the contents in my hands and it spills all over, I roll my ankle and break my toe. Shock shivers would probably follow a incident like that.

As the rapid pace of life perseveres, "enough" sleep remains elusive. Soon the ability to reason becomes incomprehensible. I don't even know where to begin with this one.

So husbands, if your wife does something like smashes her finger in the cupboard, it is probably a good idea for her to take a nice relaxing nap. It is so much better then to have to face the "inability to reason" stage.

Just for instance   ;)

 Today started off as a typical day at work. With my back to the window, a violation of my normal self security precautions, I was sitting there reading a book to my patient. All of the sudden I heard this thud thud behind me. With a couple of cats, a dog and a flock of chickens running around, there are always little noises here and there. So I casually turned around to see what was outside the window. Imagine my surprise when I saw a couple of pairs of rump roast parked immediately outside the window.

 

With no one else around, it was up to me to get those walking sirloins behind the gate again. Cows are notorious for escaping their enclosures. Know the phrase, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence? Cows invented it. 

 I hate cows, unless they are served for dinner. Anyway,  I waved my arms and hoot n' hollered just like a real cow wrangler. One by one I got 5 of the 7 escapees locked up again. I was gaining some confidence with these creatures. I had it all figured out. Chase all the cows that are still behind the gate away from the gate, then just get the escapees up in this corner, then open the gate and use the parked truck as a road block and then I can block the other exit. Ha! As long as they didn't retreat around the front of my durango I had it made. Yeah! I can do this! Then came number 6. He was a squirrelly rebellious young'un. As he was squirming around me and eventually out and down the road this big monster was sneaking around behind me.

This guy headed straight for the garden. Still feeling somewhat confident I circled around to get in front of him to head him off. So I started waving my arms and hoot n' hollerin' again. Well....all the other cows turn around and try to escape this craziness. Not this one. He just stood his ground and stared at me. Did I mention that I hate cows. This guy was not going to be intimidated by me. So I hid behind a little plum tree. And the big monster cow did whatever he wanted as I waved a stick at him from behind a tree.

(And just in case you were wondering. Yes, I have been around cows before. The field right next to my parents house is full of those fly attracting things. I used to live at my parent's house.)

I was driving home from work today talking to my hubby on the cell, when I saw something move off in the trees. It was a BIG *** moose. I about hung up on my hubby because I needed to use my cell phone as a camera and I had to be quick just in case he bolted. So I stopped the Durango, rolled down the passenger window, stretched my arm out while holding the cell phone and "click". In my attempts to miss the vehicle in my shot, I also missed the moose. 

It would have been such a good picture too. He had noticed me and squared up to the vehicle, giving it a good stare down and showing off the impressive rack upon his head. At that point I was thinking ummm....fight or flight. Gambling that the moose would notice that the durango was bigger and with my foot ready on the gas pedal I decided to stand my ground.

After getting the one quick and missed shot, the moose must have decided he wasn't going to tangle with the Durango so he started on his way. Away from me. 

My cell phone makes it seem so far away but, it's not as far away as it seems. 

 Yeah....well let's see if you could do better using a cell phone camera with your arm all the way stretched out. Oh yeah, and your foot on the gas...just in case. 


This isn't the first moose I have seen. One has crossed the road right in front of me up near Lolo Hot-springs in Montana. There was a mama and her baby in a creek in Yellowstone. They were quite a distance away and not threatening in any way. Then of course, the infamous Moose Lake incident. Finally there is this one. Kirk says there is one more where this young moose ran out in front of the car. Just kept running out there in front of us going the same direction. Now that he tells me the story it sounds kind of familiar but, I don't really remember. 

My dear son has put in his application for graduation. He will be done with college by Christmas. It is exciting and scarey all in one. What does a college graduate have to look forward to these days? 

This year he is a senator at the college. It is a shame that he has to give that up half way through the year because he is getting such good experience from it. He has shown so much personal growth so far this year and I credit student government for that. Well hopefully it will help his resume' anyway.

I ask him about his plans for his future. They include: get a job, take a trip, start his own business. I think about the get a job part. Will this job take him away from home? Will he be able to afford all his dreams? Then I remember that Washington keeps raising it's minimum wage. He can just get a job at McDonalds  and make as much as those guys who work those hard physical labor jobs. 


Guess he didn't need that college degree after all. 


Just kidding, I hope he does a little better then that. I just couldn't resist putting my little jab in there about the minimum wage increase. I could go on about why that was a bad idea for everybody but, this blog isn't about that.

As I was coming home from work today I had to quickly pull out onto the road and get up to the posted speed limit as quickly as possible. There was a line of traffic coming up behind me and how rude would it be of me to pull out in front of them and slowly get up to speed not even taking their use of the same road into consideration. 

So I do get up to the posted 65 miles per hour quickly. If the traffic had to slow at all it was very little. But...I could not have gone more then 100 feet when I had to sloooowww way down because I suddenly encountered a line of traffic in front of me... going 49 miles per hour. This is a single lane old highway and to try to pass at this time of day would be a matter of risking your life, actually more like ending it.

At this point I can no longer stay on my cell phone. So I politely, as possible, explain that I must get off the phone and hang up. I can not hold back the grumbling and my heart rate has definitely increased. I mean after all aren't they tired and just want to get home too?

Finally, the lane divides into two lanes. I am thinking...YES! Now this line of traffic is just going to speed right on past that slow poke leader.  But NOoooooo! Oh the 49 mile per hour guy stays in the slow lane all right but now there is a new leader in the passing lane going at a top speed of 55 miles per hour. Really!!! What are you thinking!! By this time my heart rate is really raging and I am thinking about how to get even.


So finally the 55 mph cars eventually and slowly one by one move to the slow lane. YES! there was more then one. Guess they all thought after going 49 mph that they were just a cruisin'. The truck in front of me and I were free to go the speed limit, which has just decreased to 55 mph. And a few minutes later I have reached my turn.


So I make the turn and what do I get in front of me....Yep, an RV going 45 in a 55. Are you kidding me! I just know my blood pressure is through the roof. Don't these people realize that they are not on these roads all by themselves. I mean I have been known to lalagag down the road from time to time, but not when there are others using the same road at the same time as me. Come on people wake up! What if I was having a heart attack and needed to get to the hospital while you are on your sight seeing tour.  It could happen especially with the way you are driving. 


Eventually the speed limit dropped to 35 but that RV just kept going 45, obviously totally oblivious to the world around him. So I imagined him getting a big fat speeding ticket, strangely that seemed to put out the fire I had burning inside. 


These encounters are happening all the time any more. I can not believe how many people are out for sight seeing trips every day of the week during rush hour traffic out on the prairie. What is there to see out there? Just a bunch of hay!


So I ask myself, maybe God is trying to teach me something. Maybe he is trying to teach me how to deal with road rage. Then I decide that I wouldn't have road rage if people would drive the speed limit when they are in front of me and I am tired and just want to get home because I am never there anymore and I miss it. If God is trying to teach me something, it must be something else. But, I have learned something after all....


If you can't drive the speed limit, I  am going to run you over!

I was sitting around the house bored to tears. Well almost. Upon seeing me in this state, my sweet hubby decided that he needed to do something for his wife (His words, not mine). So this is what he came up with.

Beauty

A Nice Place to Rest

With a View

Interesting Facts

Evidence of Wildlife
and a speeding chipmunk that
stopped just long enough to
pose for a picture

New Heights

A Little Silliness



Truly I Am Blessed

I really don't like to cook. I haven't quite figured out which part is worse: coming up with the idea of what to make for dinner in the first place, standing over a hot stove creating, or digging out all the mixing bowls and pots and pans, only to have to wash all those dishes after this meal is consumed.

Think about that for a moment. 1 hour prep time, 15 minutes for it to disappear, followed by another hour of clean up time.

Trying to improve on the previous nights frozen burrito dinner, last night I decided to make my hubby a nicer dinner. I decided on turkey, mashed taters, gravy, and cranberry sauce. When Hubby calls to say he is on his way home, he gets excited to hear what awaits him for dinner. That makes me happy.

I get out a pan for the potatoes and one for the gravy. I need one mixing bowl and one measuring cup. A two pan dinner, ugh....dishes.
First I start the potatoes, water in the pan...boil...add milk...stir in potato flakes.
Next start the gravy, water in the pan...boil...water in the mixing bowl...add gravy mix...stir...add to boiling water...whisk until thick.
Hubby arrives just in time to open the cans of turkey and cranberry sauce. I don't like opening cans either.
Next I put some bread on the plates. Then scoop some taters into the middle of the plates and cover the bread and the taters with gravy.
Finally, I put a couple of slices of cranberry sauce on the edge of the plate.
Serving the plates, I admire them and think they have a nice presentation. After all, our food should look good if we expect anyone to eat it.

Fifteen minutes later, my son gets up from the table and takes his plate to the sink and says...."What's this can of turkey sitting here for?"

Oooops...I forgot to put the turkey in the gravy. You know what else? We all sat there and ate our food, none of us noticing that there was no meat.

The best part of the meal came later when Hubby and I were recapping the event. I laughed so hard I cried. Another story to be held over my head has been added to the archives, filed right next to the one where I made paste instead of Creamed Tuna on Toast.

Well, I guess I better go do those dishes I didn't do last night.

I am one of those do it yourself people. My way of thinking is that if they can do it, then I can google it and learn how to do it myself. No expensive labor costs that way. I usually do pretty good with this philosophy. Sure it takes me longer and can be quite physically demanding at times, but I save a ton of money. I also believe that since I have a personal stake in the project that it is finished with better quality.

We are putting in flooring in part of the basement. Snap and Click not to intimidating. Whaaat! We have to level our wavy cement floor. Ugh, that stinks! Ok...I can do this.

Did I mention that I was also cheap and impatient.

On Thursday I got the flooring supplies at the store. The floor leveler was almost $30 and the salesman told me I also needed this $7 bottle of primer to make it stick to the existing cement. In my mind I was thinking, "Yeah, sure I do. You are just trying to get me to spend more money." Remembering that Kirk once told me that cement doesn't stick to cement, I grudgingly bought the primer.

Friday, time to level that floor. First, Aaron and I emptied the room. Next, it was time for the primer. I read the directions...easy enough, now all I need is an applicator and some rubber gloves. I put Aaron on the search for the applicator while I looked for gloves. He comes back with a 1 inch paint brush and paint roller...handle only. Thinking that he did a bad job of searching, I went on my own search... I decided to use the 1 inch brush. Aaron offered to go to the store to get a bigger brush, but I didn't want to spend another $5. So I applied latex primer to roughly 180 square feet with a 1" paint brush while wearing plastic bags on my hands. Oh yeah, I didn't have any rubber gloves either and I am allergic to latex.

Next, it was finally time for the floor leveler. As I was applying the primer, Aaron was reading the directions for the leveler. There were only directions for making a complete bag and I didn't want to do that. I wanted him to see if there was an easy water to leveler ratio to use. Well apparently the directions were first written in Chinese and then badly translated to English using the European standard of measurement. So I sent him to "Google It". I could figure it out on my own if he could find a video showing me the consistancy it was suppose to pour at. He was successful.

First, we filled the bucket with a couple inches of water, then slowly added the leveler powder. I used a hand held garden shovel to mix it since I didn't have a drill mixer like the directions said to use. Afterall, they cost money. We continued to add powder. Soon I was elbow deep in cement that wouldn't seem to get thick and my arm was hurtin'. It finally got to the consistancy of gravy and I considered pouring it at that point, but the directions said it should be like thin pancake batter. So I added more leveler powder. Apparently, some people make thin pancake batter thinner then others. It suddenly started getting real warm and thick. UGH!!! Aaron get me some more water! Suddenly, it was more like homemade icecream. He splashed in some water. Have you ever eatten a piece of meat and the more you chewed it the bigger it would get in your mouth? This was like that. It just kept expanding and getting warmer. Panic has set in! I'm yelling at Aaron to add more water, now quick let's put some on the floor. UGH, still too thick. Find something to clean that off there! UGH!!!! Why is this happening!? It's too thin, too thin, then blammo too thick!
This is where Aaron gives me a key piece of information.
After stirring on this stuff for an hour...

"This sets in 5 minutes" says Aaron.
"What!" my reply.
"That's what RS means, I thought I told you that." states Aaron.

For clarification: It didn't set in the first hour I was stirring because it was too thin, like water, but as soon as there was enough leveler power, it thickened right up.

Well, Kirk came home in the middle of the big panic. As soon as the mess was cleaned up, off to the store we went. I suppose the $13 for the mixer is worth it after all.

Anybody need a bucket of cement?

Several years ago Kirk, Aaron and I used to help the Jones' with the bus ministry at church. On Saturday's we would all go door to door inviting kids to church. Then early Sunday morning we would all hop in the bus and Kirk would drive it around to all the homes where the kids lived who wanted to come. At each house, Dan Jones, who had more energy then anyone would think possible could be contained into one man, would bound out of the bus door with a big grin on his face. After each pickup we would all sing songs. Brandi led those songs with such obvious enthusiasm. I did my best to help, but I couldn't manage a fraction of the joy the others had.



My time on the bus soon came to an end. I started to look at the bus ministry as "work". Time that could be better spent doing recreational activities with the family. I began to be filled with resentment. My heart was hardened towards those little lost children. I would soon enter into a period of my life that I call the "Deep Dark Valley". Where we would leave church and I would face many lessons, but untimately teaching me the heart knowledge that it isn't about "works". Works without LOVE leads to resentment. LOVE God with all your heart, Listen to him, and Work because you truly LOVE him.



So today, one of those sweet little bus girls came to church, something like 10 years later. Her and a young man came by themselves. No one went and knocked on their door and no bus picked them up. She came because she remembered the love that those wonderful people on the bus showed her. Those bus workers knew something that it took me those same 10 years to learn. There is no better way to spend your time then working for our Lord.



That little girl and her friend got saved today. They will not have to face the torment of hell, they WILL spend ETERNITY, surrounded by love, in HEAVEN.

I hurt my knee. It was swelling and beginning to hurt to walk. When I tried to straighten it, there was a disturbing noise. Grrrrinnnd and then pop. Although this was kind of on the painful side, I of course had to try it again. After all, maybe the "pop" was the sound of it fixing itself. Grrrrinnnnd, pop. Nope, not fixed.

At this point you must understand that I will do anything to avoid going to the doctor. Not only is it way to expensive but, medicine is not an exact science. Most of the time doctors are only guessing and always in a hurry to get to their next patient so they can keep on schedule. Yes, I will give doctors their due. Their guess is a least an educated one. So anyway, I decide to wait for 24 hours to see if it would get better.

No such luck.

Next morning my knee was more swollen but, everything else was about the same. So my awesome husband took me to the doc.

So the doc pokes here and there asking, "Does it hurt here? How about here?" I had to tell her about the grinding and popping. So she checks it out and then says that I need to go to physical therapy. Then she was gone. I guess she didn't think I would want to know what exactly was the problem.

Of course, I must have answers. And after doing a bunch of research of the internet this is what I came up with:

Symptoms:

• A history of trauma or twisting of the knee. check
• Pain on the inner surface of the knee joint. check
• Swelling of the knee within 48 hours of the injury. check
• Inability to bend knee fully - this maybe associated with pain or clicking noise. check
• A positive sign (pain and/or clicking noise) during a McMurray's test. I looked up a youtube video to see how this was done. Doctor didn't do it. It just makes a squishing sound during every revolution.
• Pain when rotating or pressing down on the knee in prone position, Apley's test. Doctor didn't do this one either. I can't do this one by myself but, after watching the video I am sure it would make me cry. (I did try my best at this one and rotating it was painful without having someone press down on it.)
• Locking or giving way of the knee. check
• Inability to weight bear on the affected side. It was difficult and painful for awhile but that gradually went away.

So my conclusion is that it is a Medial Cartilage Meniscus Injury. It is a guess but, it is all I have.

As I was eatting my cream of wheat and reading Sunny's blog, Sunshine on a cloudy day, I happened to notice that her link to my blog said that I had a posting named "Fonts". How odd!

I once created a post named fonts. It was only for a brief moment. After seeing on Talia's blog, Millers Moments, the cool font that she was using. I was envious. Yes, I know that it is wrong to envy. I must work on that.

So anyway, I was playing with the fonts that it lists on my blog maker thingy. I made a mock blog to test them out. Turns out that no matter what they name the font, they all look the same. Just a boring typerwriter type. *sigh*

Now I am making this new explanatory blog to delete the "fonts" blog link and....well really for no other reason.

Well, back to my cold cream of wheat.

Last night at church I learned something new. Worry is a sin.

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let

your requests be made known unto God.

Phillippians 4:6

Let's face it, if they were handing out crowns for worry, mine would be really BIG.

Last night I wanted to go to the alter and ask God for forgiveness for my sin. Since I must plan out everything in my mind ahead of time, (rolling my eyes at myself), I went over a prayer in my head. Knowing that it will be quite a challenge to overcome my obsessive worrying, I decided that I was going to need to ask God for help.

Then I worried about what kind of help that would be. Would it be a difficult and painful lesson to learn. I didn't go to the alter to pray last night.

No worries! I decided to put my faith in God. I spent some time in prayer with Him this morning.

"Back in the Day" people knew how to live of the land, for real. They would wake up with the sun and start their day. Seldom would one hear those dreadful words, "I'm bored" that have become such a common utterance in our world today. Between too many episodes of "Little House on the Prairie", the ever increasing worries about the economy, growing concerns about the ingredients in the products available at the local grocery store, the increased use of pharmaceuticals, and my own boredom, my mind has set off on a rabbit trail...


So, today I clarified bacon fat for soap. It is the first step in my process of learning how to make soap. I want to learn how to make it with ingredients that I would not have to purchase. After all, If I could go to the store to buy the ingredients, then why wouldn't I just buy a bar of soap. The idea here is to live off the land.

Well anyway, looks like the drippings from one pound of bacon produce enough clarified fat for about one bar of soap. I put the drippings in a plastic container in the fridge where it hardened into a nice clean BACON smelling chunk of fat. I am a little worried that my soap will smell like bacon.

I have done some reading and have been lead to believe that handcrafted soap is better for our skin. My son has eczema and this would be very nice for him. However, just because it is written, does not make it so. I will have to maintain my wait and see attitude.

There is much to learn about making soap from scratch. Not only is there Clarifying fat, but apparently I should try Rendering fat. Then there is the scarey process of making Lye or Sodium/Potassium Hydroxide or even NaOH if you prefer. It's all the same stuff and it is supposedly required in all soap. Mix a little fat together with some lye, throw in some rain water and there you go...soap.

Without adding some sort of fragrance, I do wonder what this soap will smell like. I want my soap to smell like...soap. I wonder if they have essential oil that smells like soap or does the lye take away the bacon smell and turn it into that classic soap smell. I was looking on the internet for different recipes and I ran across a picture of some soap shaped and colored like bacon. I didn't feel very encouraged about my soap losing that bacon smell after that.

Well that's all I have to say about soap for now.

I was recently reflecting about the past year. There has been many trials and tribulations that we have had to endure, but God has seen us through them and even blessed us along the way.

Blessings:

* Started going to Heritage Baptist Church again. God broke down the walls that I had put up, opening the door for us to return to HBC. There we learn so much from the bible and can feel ourselves growing closer to God.

*Made new friends. We have met so many wonderful people at HBC and beyond, it is not enough to call them friends. They are family!

* Refinanced our house making it possible for us to continue making our house payment in spite of our financial losses.

* New, free clothing. My mother-in-law sent me some new shirts. She didn't even know that I was in need of them.

I know this year will bring it's own set of trials and they will try to bring me down, succeeding for a time. But in the end, it won't matter because I am his and He is mine.

Thank you God for sending your only begotten son down to this earth to endure much suffering and to die upon the cross, only to rise again 3 days later, so that I may be forgiven and enter into heaven to spend eternity with you.